The best way to grow into the fullness of your identity is not to beat yourself (or someone else) up over behavior which defies identity. Remember, behavior is a fruit, not a root. Your root is good. You have Daddy DNA in you as you are In Christ and He is in you.
Sometimes behavior change happens instantaneously, but for most of us it takes time to manifest (think baby and walking or baby bird and flying). Beating yourself up, faking it till you make it, or other "doings" does not speed the process. Rather whether from God Himself, or your tribe of people, listen to hear your song sung. Listen to your God and those people who will always believe the best about you; people that remind you Who's you are and that will walk the rocky part of your path with you. You will walk, you will fly (metaphorically speaking) and you will become all that He has created you to become. Abide. Rest. Dive into intimacy with Him and find those safe people who will remind you of your song. Those people are a gift to be cherished and the opportunity to express gratitude towards the Gift Giver.
Perhaps said much more eloquently and more concisely than me...
"When a woman of the Ubuntu African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes to the jungle with other women, and together they pray and meditate until you get to "The song of the child. "When a child is born, the community gets together and they sing the child's song. When the child begins his education, people get together and he sings his song. When they become an adult, they get together again and sing it. When it comes to your wedding, the person hears his song. Finally, when their soul is going from this world, family and friends are approaching and, like his birth, sing their song to accompany it in the "journey".
"In the Ubuntu tribe, there is another occasion when men sing the song. If at some point the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, they take him to the center of town and the people of the community form a circle around her. Then they sing "your song." The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment, but is the love and memory of his true identity. When we recognize our own song, we have no desire or need to hurt anyone.
"Your friends know "your song". And sing when you forget it. Those who love you can not be fooled by mistakes you have committed, or dark images you show to others. They remember your beauty as you feel ugly, your total when you're broke, your innocence when you feel guilty and your purpose when you're confused."