I think the hardest thing in this life is to realize we were not created to live independent of God and when we do often life goes wrong - or we experience life, "wrongly".
Consider: In this life you will have tribulation, BUT be of good cheer…, and, Lord if it is possible remove this cup, BUT not my will but Yours….
It isn't in our identifying our victimhood or past, but uncovering those hidden lies and beliefs that are affecting us. IF we could get past our defense mechanisms and see what is there we could process, grieve, accept, forgive, learn, grow, change and move forward. It is in our desperate attempts to hold the pieces together that we fall further apart, kick, scream and blame in our temper tantrum. After all, it's about us, right?
Rather, it is in release and rest we find that He has always held us together - He knit us together and our essence can never be lost.
In returning (to your Creator) and rest (He's got you and your best interests at heart) you will be saved (liberated, freed).
It isn't in holding your edges close to protect yourself, but rather in exposing your nakedness with Him that you find yourself fully covered, protected and prospered in Him.
The problem isn't outside. It isn't your circumstances. We experience our life as troubling. We blame others. We lash out at those times we lose sight of the great love He has for us. These are times we have forgotten the intimacy we have with Him and chosen to live our lives independently.
Perichoresis, a view of the Trinity defined by Alister McGrath, "allows the individuality of the persons to be maintained, while insisting that each person shares in the life of the other two.”
In living intimately with God, in the presence of His indwelling Spirit, we do not lose who we are, rather we are elevated to live our lives from Him, in Him and with Him. From this place, we live life at its fullest and find we can survive and even thrive in life’s difficulties.